The ghosts of QBs past

In the February issue of Esquire, Chuck Klosterman has penned an interesting and, at the end, really humorous (at least, to me) piece on pro athletes turned TV analysts and their accomplishments/abilities during both phases of their lives. For a taste, here's the concluding paragraph, which just so happens to be about one of the worst quarterbacks my beloved and always beleaguered Vikings ever have fielded (I added the link for the person in question's name):

Sean Salisbury: If you discount the print-media buffoons (Jay Mariotti, Skip Bayless, et al.) who go on TV with the express intent of destroying whatever credibility the newspaper industry once had, Salisbury is the least cogent, most wrongheaded voice in the sports media. He's an atrocity. Yet this broadcast lunacy has saved his gridiron legacy. Salisbury's career-passer rating was a dismal 55.1 and he never had one decent season, but in retrospect that production looks amazing. It seems impossible, but it's true: Sean Salisbury was better as a player. Which is just about the craziest sentence I've ever written.

Hockey fights in a different light

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for passing this recent set-to between Georges Laraque of the 'Yotes and Raitis Ivanins of the Kings along. Trust me -- you've never seen a fight quite like this.

The apotheosis of NBA oddity

Thanks to D.C. Sports Bog for passing along a Hump Day diversion, which, once and for all, settles the discussion as to the otherworldly ancestry of a certain L.A. Clippers (and former T'Wolves) point guard.

Crazy game

Last night's Oilers-Stars game looks to have been a wild one, according to On Frozen Blog and Off Wing Opinion.

Let the fun and/or misery begin

Much to the delight of what I would estimate to be about 85 to 90 percent of their fandom, Brad Childress has named Tarvaris Jackson the starting QB for Thursday's game against the hated Cheeseheads. This probably means that Brad Johnson is done -- at least, as a member of the purple and gold.

I'm well aware that playing a rookie quarterback -- especially one from a college program that doesn't face top-notch competition and/or media scrutiny (in Jackson's case, Alabama State) -- is not ideal, but it's either play this guy and see what he's made of so we can draft and make other transactions as necessary to suit his style of play or keep him sitting behind the league's oldest starting quarterback who definitely has looked like said signal caller. (If I had a dollar for each time I heard that on either Fox or CBS this year during their telecasts, I could've bought a round of drinks for all in attendance at Stars and Stripes [the home of the Northern Virginia Vikings Fan Club] this past Sunday.)

My prediction for Thursday (8 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Central [NFL Network for those outside the Twin Cities and Green Bay viewing areas; KSTP {"Channel 5"} in "the Cities"]):

Vikings 17
Packers 14

"TSSB": The discussion rages on...

If you're interested -- and I know you are -- in a follow-up to my last post, here's a list of all of the folks who have performed "TSSB" at the Super Bowl. If only the one Charlie's Angel (not an original, mind you, but a long-standing crime-fighting cutie) and the citrus spokeswoman-cum-anti-gay loudmouth had performed together.

Also, it's mildly ironic (or is it coincidence?) to note that the Dixie Chicks sang the national anthem before Super Bowl XXXVII (even though I have a pretty good grasp on Roman numerals, I just wish they'd write "Super Bowl 37"), just 43 days before they incurred the wrath of red-state America (and their all-too-eager [and none-too-charming, IMHO {I usually avoid Internet abbreviations/slang, but for this blog entry and for you, dear readers, I'll make an exception}] champion, Toby Keith).

Am I unpatriotic?

On Frozen Blog addresses one of my pet peeves in attending sporting events in the DC area; in fact, it's my biggest pet peeve after knowing full well that 90 percent of the people around here don't care two whits about any team other than the Redskins. (Hello, people...the team is 4-9 with Joe Gibbs, Gregg Williams, Al Saunders, the ghosts of George Allen père [that's two posts today referencing that family -- hope I don't have some sort of Allen-o-philia] and Vince Lombardi, and Santa Claus on the coaching staff, so they ain't goin' nowhere this year -- or, with any luck and some blessings from the football deities, next season either.)

I'm very open about the fact that I think "The Star-Spangled Banner" (I will abbreviate hereafter as "TSSB") is a terrible national anthem. "Why?" you ask.

1. It's about a flag, not a country.
2. Speaking more to that point, can most Americans honestly say they know how the song/poem came to be? If not, it loses even more meaning.
   
3. Unless you're a fairly competent vocalist, it's hard to sing.
   
4. Given (3), if a large-enough crowd attempts to sing it -- and if you're at a sporting event, a good number of folks have probably been a bit over-served already, so to speak -- it just sounds bad.
5. Of course, if they are over-served, it fits right in, considering that "To Anacreon in Heaven," the tune to which the Key poem was set, was, more or less, a drinking song.
   

As such, I'd be very amenable to changing our national anthem to "America the Beautiful" (this is the U.S. Navy Band [with the Sea Chanters], pre-Randy or Deech) or "My Country, 'Tis of Thee" (the Coast Guard Band here) -- even with their theistic references, which I am leery of using in this nation that purports to celebrate separation of church and state -- because they speak to the history, beauty, and wonder of the United States and not to a bombed-out Free State flag.

All that being said, however, for the time being, show some respect for "TSSB" (gotta love Hendrix, who was, of course, a parachute infantryman with the 101^st Airborne) as well as for the men and women who have fought and died defending the very flag about which we sing (albeit poorly more often than not) and protecting rights like criticizing the validity of our national "song."

* * * * *

On a related note, does anyone know where one might find audio and/or video clips of James Earl Jones reciting "TTSB" before last night's (12.13.06) Wizards-Nuggets tilt at the Phone Booth? If so, let me know.

* * * * *

If you're wondering, the flag above is the 32-star model in use from 7.4.1858 to 7.3.1859 -- the 32^nd state being Minnesota, of course. (I apologize for using the Rouser as the clip as it's not the state song, but it's peppier and I actually know the words to it.)

2006 in DC, SD, VA, etc., etc.

The Rothenberg Political Report offers up "[a] [v]ery, [v]ery, [v]ery [w]eird" year in politics. I must say that the biggest surprise of the year -- and as a new Virginian, the most pleasant surprise of the year that is soon not to be anymore -- was Macaca Mouth going down to defeat at the hands of the wacky, wild, and Dubya-dissin' Webb. (I can't believe I linked to the Sacramento Bee; it wasn't even an article about the comparative merits of Mike Bibby and Brad Miller -- the center, not the North Carolina Democrat Congressman [and yes, I had to go to the Kings' website to see who was on the team besides Bibby].)

The closing weeks of 2006 may bring even more aberrations if Sen. Tim Johnson (D-SD) is unable to continue to serve the Mount Rushmore State following his overnight surgery to stabilize a congenital arteriovenous malformation. The ramifications for control of Congress are immense, to be sure (at least, within the Beltway), but they should -- and must -- take a back seat to concern for the senator and for his family. Democracy in America sums up my feelings pretty well:

May Mr Johnson recover speedily; not only because his incapacitation or death would be tragic, but because Mike Rounds, the governor, will undoubtedly infuriate half the country with whomever he names as a replacement. Name a Republican and Democrats will howl that he has overturned the will of the American people by exploiting a tragedy. Name a Democrat and his party could lynch him. Either way, America's business will be forgotten for weeks if not months of angry finger-pointing between the partisans.

Get well soon, Tim Johnson.

Freddy bids United a fond adieu

Had to do it -- the pun, that is. The first post in a few days is a short one, but as a fan of DC United, I have to say that getting rid of Adu, the unreachable expectations, and his penchant to complain instead of perform is definitely a plus for United. Hopefully, this means more playing time for those who have actually earned their way into the starting XI, like Clyde Simms, etc.

With any luck, more posts to come later in the day...

My alma mater won something

I guess UMM (i.e., the University of Minnesota, Morris [aka "affordable Ivy"]) won the UMAC (Upper Midwest Athletic Conference) football championship in late October. I guess I'm just finding out about it now because: (1) I'm not terribly interested in Cougar gridiron action (they were horrendous during my matriculation); and (2) the publicity monstrosity that is UMM is slow in getting the news out.

I suppose congratulations are in order, but I can't get too excited when their competition consists of:

• a Presbyterian school in Nowheresville, Illinois;
• a college for followers of Mary Baker Eddy that has a campus in St. Louis and one in -- surprise, surprise -- in Nowheresville, Illinois;
• a nondenominational school in Salt Lake City;
• a Baptist Bible college in small-town Wisconsin
• an Assemblies of God college in Ellendale, North Dakota (I could've said "Nowheresville, North Dakota," but that would've been redundant); and
• Rockford College, whose claim to fame is that Jane Addams (of Hull House) graduated from there 125 years ago.

Not exactly the SEC - or even the MAC.

Granted, UMM ain't the Ohio State University, but at least it's affiliated with a major university.

Número 10 de Barcelona é muito bom

I would love to learn Portuguese, but I'm afraid my five years of junior high and high school Spanish would taint the experience and cause problems.

Ronaldinho is the man -- and proves it once again in scoring this sick goal.

For more crazy footie action, click here. It's not Ronaldinho (at least, not solely [he's in there at least once]), but it's pretty wild stuff nevertheless.

Today's baseball news

(1) If the D-Rays feel the need to move some of their games to the EPCOT parking lot, isn't that an indication that the team is not viable in Tampa and should be relocated -- perhaps to Vegas, Portland, Charlotte, or some other place where the population isn't: (a) transient (a strike against moving the Expos to DC [that organization now has a new marketing slogan -- whoopee!], I suppose, but that happened); and (b) coming out in force (relatively) for divisional rivals like the Sox and Bombers?

(2) Nick Lachey is going to be a part owner of the Triple-A (for Seattle) Tacoma Rainiers. Now, all we need is Jessica Simpson to get up and make some comment about it being strange that her former beloved is buying animals from Santa. (Wait a minute...wait...get it? Never mind.)

The former model, a dead economist, and a quote

(1) From SI.com and Lew Rockwell.com (with some links added by me):

Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, has filed a libel lawsuit against an Irish magazine story that included fake nude photos of her and claimed that she appeared on Internet porn sites. If the lawsuit is unsuccessful, Tiger plans to simply buy the mag and shut it down.

* * *

Murray Rothbard believed that there should be no libel laws, as one does not "own" one's own reptuation. (A reputation is what others might think about someone.) However, Murray certainly would have supported Woods' Plan B. A private property solution!

I have to say that buying up that which defames you and yours is a pretty good solution, albeit one that's available only to a select few.

---

(2) Another quote from my favorite net pundit, Ilana Mercer:

In a truly free society, the kind we once enjoyed, one honors the right of the individual to associate and disassociate, invest and disinvest, speak and misspeak at will.

Happiness is...redux

Yesterday (11.27.06), everybody's favorite NHL owner, Ted Leonsis, blogged on the "five traits of happiness" ("Not much different than what has made me happy recently," MCW said, rolling his eyes) after seeing "another study on happiness." Leonsis argues that the happiest people he knows all share:

1. Being connected to multiple communities of interest in an active way. The more people on your buddy list the happier you are;

2. Giving back through volunteerism and sharing with others. (YouTube, MySpace and other social networks prove this point on the importance of sharing);

3. Pursuing the higher calling in all of your major efforts, by doing what is right in the right way.

4. Self expression. Having a good third place to exchange ideas, be creative and have your voice be heard (why do you think there are 54 million blogs out there?)

5. Showing gratitude by being thankful and optimistic.

From what I've heard about Ted, he sounds like a pretty "good" guy, but then again, if you take a look of the things he's done over the course of his life (through January of '06) and how much he's achieved and earned, it's pretty difficult to not be happy (IMHO, at least). However, when I just Googled him, both his Wikipedia entry and a posting on ESPN's Page 2 referenced surviving a 1983 plane crash, after which, according to the latter, he made the list of things he wanted to accomplish, which tempers my cynicism about his happiness quite a bit; getting through 70% of them in 50 years of life is pretty impressive.

My non-Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving

If you don't fully understand that reference, click here.

Just in case you're horrendously bored, here's the menu from which I shall be dining tomorrow for my Thanksgiving feast.

As far as the day's football games go (NFL, that is):

• Miami over Detroit 20-10;
• Dallas over Tampa 24-7; and
• Denver over Kansas City 17-14.

JuMo, part deux

Following up on my previous baseball post:

• ESPN.com's Keith Law thinks Morneau had no business winning the MVP (subscription to ESPN Insider required [I don't have it, but the headline annoyed me, to say the very least]) and, to my great surprise (note sarcasm here), advocated for Jeter (and for Mauer as well, to be fair).
• On the flip side, thanks to Baseball Think Factory's Baseball Primer Newsblog for pointing me in the direction of an NYC columnist who actually predicted a "Twin killing" relative to the MVP and CYA. I think I see pork products floating past my office window as I type...

JuMo=MVP

I can't believe a member of the Twins actually won the AL MVP - especially when "The Golden Boy" was in the running. Congrats to the Canadian slugger, as well as to the other three Twins who received votes in the race (Mauer, Santana [belated kudos on your easily-won and well-deserved CYA], and Nathan). This helps to make up for the loss of Soriano for those of us who care about the Nats as well.

Click here to see a slideshow of Morneau's season, courtesy of Twincities.com, which houses the the St. Paul Pioneer Press' online presence.

Just a question: does anybody else think that Morneau looks like WWE champion John Cena?

Instant replay in baseball?

At the general managers' meetings in Naples (Florida, not Italy), the MLB bigwigs are considering the possibility of using instant replay.

At this point, there are no criteria for when and how replay might be implemented into Major League Baseball. The committee was just asked to explore all areas.

* * *

One of the main stumbling blocks may be the opposition of Commissioner Bud Selig, who has often stated that he's against the use of instant replay, which he believes takes "the human element" out of a sport.

If you ask me, MLB owners took "'the human element' out of [the] sport" when it elected one of their own to be full-time puppet, er, Commissioner in 1998. Before Selig was the "real" Commissioner (i.e., 1992-98), he messed baseball up by:

• splitting the leagues into three divisions, thus necessitating the inception of the "wild card"; and
  
• introduced interleague play, thus lessening the allure of the All-Star Game and, of course, the World Series.

Since '98, we've had the Barry Bonds fiasco(s), the '02 All-Star Game (played in Selig's old stomping grounds, Milwaukee [by that point, Miller Park [where three workers died in a horrific crane accident in '99] instead of the old County Stadium]), and the "this time it counts" All-Star movement, which has furthered devalued the World Series by making an exhibition game the determining factor in who has the home-field advantage in the Fall Classic. And I haven't even gotten to the part about him wanting to contract my childhood team or the bit about allowing a team that later became my hometown team to be owned (and to be gutted for the better part of a decade) by his chums in the egotistical, over-monied cabal that is MLB ownership. As Alton Brown, my favorite Food Network personality, would say, "But that's another show."

In short, if you haven't figured it out already, I think Bud Selig is the worst thing to happen to the National Pastime since, well, the imposition of the "color line." I mean, look at the links on his Wikipedia entry. He should've just stuck with selling cars, lo those many years ago.

Back to instant replay in baseball for a minute: I hate what it's done to the NFL, but, for the most part, like its application in the NHL and NBA. A large part of the "charm" of baseball for me is its contradictory nature; that is, relative simplicity in how to play (basically) and the infinite outcomes and scenarios arising within a game, an inning, or even an at-bat. Of all of the "major sports" in this country (i.e., baseball, football, basketball, and hockey), baseball has the most one-on-one, human-to-human interaction - both between the combatants and between the players and the officials. To me, a baseball game is a lot like a small, liberal arts, public university in the Upper Midwest at which you actually get to know your professors and you see them out at the grocery store or pumping their own gas; it's a throwback to another time. All of this being said, I think if you limit availability of a replay to very specific situations (e.g., whether a ball is a homerun or a foul ball), forbid the teams from requesting a replay, and leaving it up to a dedicated staff of officials in "the booth," it might help...but it might not.

Sports and sports entertainment

(A) Finally, the Nats have someone with a clue in the dugout. (Sorry, Frank.)



(B) On MySpace, the WWE (yes, I still watch this [I think it's some sort of state law in Minnesota that you have to know/watch wrestling {I voted for one once - oops}]) made the following announcement:

WWE attorneys pulled out of a scheduled settlement conference relating to the ongoing lawsuit against WWE filed by Warrior "Ultimate Warrior" Warrior. The conference was on 11/6. WWE's attorneys believed the attempts to settle to be "premature" and "futile" at this point. Warrior sued WWE last February, claiming the "Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior" DVD made damaging statements about him and violated a previous legal settlement between the two parties.

A couple of things:

1. The guy's changed his name to "Warrior Warrior." That's rather frightening.
2. If (1) is, in fact, the case, I find it hard to believe that the "damaging statements" made about him really got through to him anyhow.

Local and not-so-local sports

(1) The Caps looked absolutely lifeless last night against the Canes by a count of what an English football announcer might say of "Capitals nil, Hurricanes five." My friend and I are considering taking in tomorrow night's contest v. the Jagrmeisters, but I'm moderately concerned that the game will be a replay of last night's debacle instead of being reminiscent of their recent dominance of the orange-and-black from the City of Brotherly Love

(2) My roommate, undoubtedly, is ecstatic (if not a little hung over) today following his alma mater's last-second, comeback triumph over the third-ranked Louisville Cardinals. I must admit that when I saw a first half score of 25-7, I wrote off the Scarlet Knights (and turned off the game for at least an hour and 15 minutes), but it's good to see schools that have less than a stellar history of success do well - and, in Rutgers' case last night, to do it on a national stage (in this instance, ESPN).