The apotheosis of NBA oddity

Thanks to D.C. Sports Bog for passing along a Hump Day diversion, which, once and for all, settles the discussion as to the otherworldly ancestry of a certain L.A. Clippers (and former T'Wolves) point guard.

Caveat lector

Blog posts may become more sporadic now that Congress is back in session, so bear with me.

And no, I didn't know how to say "let the reader beware" in Latin without using an online translator.

Crazy game

Last night's Oilers-Stars game looks to have been a wild one, according to On Frozen Blog and Off Wing Opinion.

The homogeneity of our presidents

CSM has run an opinion piece on the likelihood that our next president will -- probably much to the consternation of Democrats everywhere -- be a WASP. It's gotten so "bad," argue the authors (a sociologist at Claremont Graduate University and a former WaPo editor and writer), that:

Since 1952, there's been only one presidential election year in which the name Nixon, Dole, or Bush was not on the GOP ticket. (The exception is 1964, when Barry Goldwater and William Miller were trounced.) In fact, no Republican has been elected to the White House without either the name Nixon or Bush on the ticket since Herbert Hoover was elected in 1928! And should Senator Clinton win in 2008 and serve two terms, either a Bush or a Clinton will have been president for 28 consecutive years.

I'm no fan of Hillary or Obama (or Bill Richardson [whose PAC doesn't seem to have a website], for that matter), but I'm all for mixing it up quite a bit in terms of who is representing the American people at a national and international level, and if that means electing a qualified woman or minority candidate, so be it.

Not much going on...

...thus little being blogged. Film at 11.

What will happen in the new year?

In what is, apparently, his "33^rd annual office pool," legendary NYT columnist William Safire (who now chairs the Dana Foundation) offers a set of multiple-choice questions regarding possible outcomes for the year-to-be. What do you think?

Safire -- who, it seems, in 1969, while a Nixon speechwriter, wrote a short speech to be delivered in the event of the Apollo 11 astronauts being stranded on the moon and (a memo prepared by NASA for Nixon and Vice President Agnew that suggested statements in the event of Apollo "crew fatalities" also is part of the linked document) -- instructs us that we either must pick one, all, or none of the options for each question. His answers and mine follow the questionnaire (a word I'll never forget how to spell as it is similar in construction to "personnel," which I once misspelled to be eliminated from a regional spelling bee]).

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1. The “O’Connorless Supreme Court” will decide
(a) without reversing Roe v. Wade to uphold laws restricting late-term abortion because they do not impose an “undue burden” on women
(b) that public schools in Seattle and Louisville, in their zeal to prevent re-segregation, have gone too far in using race in selection of students
(c) to reject Massachusetts’ case to force the Environmental Protection Agency to raise auto emissions standards, holding that “global warming” gives the state no standing to sue without new law

2. Dow Jones industrials will
(a) reflect 4 percent economic growth to rise in 2007 to close above 14,000
(b) fall out of bed to 10,000 in what the Republicans will claim is the Democratic recession
(c) soar to 15,000 before ending the year around 14,000
(d) change from a boring numerical index to lively prose opinions in the with-it Wall Street Journal

3. Bipartisan achievement of 110th Congress and Bush White House will be
(a) blue-ribbon Social Security panel providing cover to raise retirement age to 70 for those now under 50
(b) passage of Leahy-Pence shield law permitting whistleblowers to expose corruption to reporters without fear of being ratted out by runaway prosecutors
(c) immigration reform allowing earned citizenship of current illegals and installing 1,700-mile fence named after the nativist Millard Fillmore
(d) substantial minimum-wage increase with reduction but not elimination of “death tax”

4. Congress will override Bush veto of
(a) federal support of stem-cell research
(b) federal negotiation of drug prices

5. The word most often heard in 110th Congress will be
(a) sellout
(b) compromise
(c) subpoena
(d) civility
(e) payback

6. The Oscar for best picture in a year of great pictures will go to
(a) Martin Scorsese’s “Departed”
(b) Paul Greengrass’s “United 93”
(c) Clint Eastwood’s “Letters From Iwo Jima”
(d) Stephen Frears’s “Queen”
(e) Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris’s “Little Miss Sunshine”

7. The level of American troops in Iraq at year’s end will be
(a) over 100,000, down from surged 160,000
(b) under 100,000, down from today’s unsurged 140,000
(c) under 80,000 with announced timetable for downsizing in 2008 to 40,000 in secure Iraqi Kurdistan

8. Iraq will be
(a) in full-scale civil war
(b) on the road to shaky democracy with insurgency weakening
(c) split three ways with Kirkuk as capital of Kurdistan

9. Iran at year’s end will be
(a) more intransigent than ever and on the way to matching North Korea’s nuclear weapon
(b) more reasonable after plunge in oil income, anti-terrorism boycott, labor-student unrest and global sanctions
(c) red-faced at double cross from Arab Iraqi Shiites

10. Publishing sleeper-seller will be
(a) “Sacred Games” by Vikram Chandra, a gangster novel like an Indian “Godfather”
(b) Jim Lehrer’s novel “The Phony Marine”

and in non-fiction
(c) “Spy Wars: Moles, Mysteries and Deadly Games,” by a retired spook, Tennent Bagley, which refutes C.I.A. groupthink about the molehunter James Angleton being paranoid
(d) “Father’s Day,” by Buzz Bissinger, about his twin sons, one exceptional and the other damaged

11. Internal party struggle will be
(a) John Edwards’s labor-appealing protectionism versus Hillary Clinton’s championing of Nafta-style free trade
(b) John McCain as pro-life versus Rudy Giuliani as pro-choice
(c) cognitive dissonance of anti-bias liberals at bias toward a conservative Mormon candidate

12. Scientific news will be in
(a) neuro-circuitry
(b) deep brain stimulation in treating depression
(c) sequencing the genome of higher apes in studying evolution
(d) vaccine approaches to treatment of Alzheimer’s as well as eradication of malaria
(e) gene duplication to detect mental illness
(f) commercial hype about cranial calisthenics

13. Year-end polls of likely primary voters will have in the lead among Democrats
(a) Clinton
(b) Obama
(c) Edwards
(d) Gore
(e) Richardson-Biden-Dodd-Dean

and among Republicans
(a) McCain
(b) Romney
(c) Giuliani
(d) Gingrich-Rice-Brownback-Hagel

14. Time and chance will happeneth to all predictions if
(a) McCain scampily blows his stack
(b) Clinton freezes over
(c) Romney is brainwashed
(d) Obama loses his cool over press interest in “Rezkogate”

15. Key factor in swing-voter choice of next president will be
(a) experience
(b) freshness
(c) character
(d) name recognition
(e) seizure of health-care issue
(f) Internet organization

*****

Safire's responses: 1 (all) 2 (c) 3 (b) 4 (both) 5 (c) 6 (d) 7 (a) 8 (b) 9 (b) 10 (c) 11 (a) 12 (all) 13 (a), (a) 14 (all) 15 (c)

My uninformed guesses: 1 (a) 2 (a) 3 (c) 4 (none) 5 (b) 6 (a) 7 (a) 8 (b) 9 (none) 10 (d) 11 (a) 12 (b) 13 (a), (a) 14 (none) 15 (c)

Back to Eastern Time, work, and blogging

Last night on my Northwest flight from the Twin Cities to Reagan, I finished a very funny book purchased while home for the holidays. John Blumenthal's Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour is the tale of a neurotic SoCal 30-something who tries desperately to make sense of life and love -- all the while, trying to finish his comprehensive 10-volume biography of the largely-forgotten (and forgettable) 13th POTUS. In some sense, I suppose I could say that it's Monk meets me.

If it's a novel, I finish it (more or less) in one "sitting," and it's not written for fourth graders, it's gotta be good, so I highly recommend that you give it a read.

RIP, Leslie Lynch King, Jr.; and limiting presidential service

While surfing just now, I saw that Gerald Ford has passed away at 93 at his home in southern California. He was president when I was born, so I have a special place in my heart for old Jerry despite the fact that he was the butt of many a joke (most notably, of course, by: [1] Chevy Chase during his [i.e., Chase] brief stint on SNL [couldn't find a video thereof on YouTube or Google Video] [somewhat little-known fact: CC played drums in a "bad jazz band" called The Leather Canary in the late '60s and that group was headed by Fagen and Becker, the creative forces behind the world's greatest band ever]; and [2] The Simpsons). I had forgotten that Ford was a member of the Warren Commission and, as it turns out, he was the last surviving member of that presumably-august-but-oft-questioned panel. Also, he was the target of not one, but two assassination attempts within three weeks in September 1975, thus fulfilling another criterion for inclusion in history's memory (at least, according to me).

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On a quasi-related note, CSM is running an interesting op-ed today by Jonathan Zimmerman of NYU, in which Zimmerman argues for a repeal of presidential term limits. His main point is that if a president is no longer "electable," he is no longer accountable (a la W). His secondary contention is that the American people have enough "long-term common sense," as Eisenhower put it, to know when to boot out an ineffectual chief executive.

It's funny that this arises now because just yesterday (Xmas Day), I had a brief conversation with others (all of whom, I assume, voted for W [at least, in '04]) and the general consensus was that W doesn't really care as long as it's (i.e., "the war on terror") cleaned up by his successor.

*****

I've really got to get to bed. Good night.

Tara Conner, Katie Rees, et al

In the wake of the recent beauty queen scandals, Salon provides us with Miss America 1998's viewpoint, which, of course, is the last word (note sarcasm here).

Christmas thoughts from WaPo

In my day-to-day work, I often decry the editorial pages of The Washington Post, but today, they got it right.

Please read on and here's to you and yours having a nice Christmas Day.

Christmas
A story of hope, as needed as ever
Monday, December 25, 2006; Page A28

"AND IT CAME to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed." So begins the Christmas story in the Gospel of Luke. There's some historical dispute about whether such a decree was issued around that time, but let that pass, too. It's an important part of the story now, a story not just of divinity, as it's seen by Christians, but of humanity -- and for all of us.

The Augustan Age of ancient Rome is generally regarded as a glorious period, a time when the empire was well-ruled, prosperous and full of creative activity. But, as ever, a lot depended on where you were and what your station was. In the eastern reaches, people could be displaced and driven about by great impersonal forces, made to answer to the whims of distant governors. A vast, efficient, civilizing empire that was also marked by cruelty and cold indifference ruled over a volatile part of the world riven by religious fanaticism and hatreds, tribal contention, and other conflicts.

The universal appeal of the Christmas story lies in its portrayal of a universal experience -- childbirth -- overcoming the most distressful of circumstances and bringing forth new life and new hope. It is a story of warmth, light and love. As he grew, Jesus of Nazareth conveyed a message that was to set a difficult path for those who believed deeply: to give up everything they owned and loved to follow him. But another part of his message has, like the Bethlehem story, inspired and comforted people of many faiths and was not much different from what has been preached there and in many other places: of the transforming power of love, the importance of humility, forgiveness, generosity and tolerance. The message of peace.

Today our own country, while never untroubled, is enjoying itself on an Augustan scale. But there is, of course, no peace. A good many of our noblest -- the Roman allusion is merited here -- are in difficult and dangerous conditions in that same faraway part of the world where the story of this day was set. And today a good number of them, whether religious or not, will take needed comfort in the old tale and in the atmosphere of the day and the greetings from home -- most now carried instantaneously on a glowing screen, which is the new light of Christmas and bearer of good tidings. Keep it shining this day, long and often.

Merry Christmas to all...

...and to all a good night.

The five things

I saw a post on Ted's Take yesterday, which stemmed from The Jeff Pulver Blog, asking people to divulge five things most others don't know about them. As for me:

• Though right-handed, I deal cards left-handed.
• The current governor of Minnesota once bought me a drink.
• I was the only attendant for the bride in a wedding.
• I played a judge in a stage production of Hello, Dolly.
• I was vice-president of my university's College Republicans for a very brief time.

If you would, post your list as a comment and pass this idea along.

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FYI: The times of my posts through the middle of next week are in Eastern time, even though I'll be posting them in Central time. I know you care, right?

Gumming up the works

Just thought I'd let everyone know that the new Orbit Lemon-Lime gum (not mentioned on the link) is pretty tasty and quite potent tang-wise (not to be confused with what the Apollo astronauts sipped or the T'ang Dynasty or the Wu-Tang Clan -- the latter [well, two members thereof {the RZA and the GZA}] being part of one of my all-time favorite short sketches from Chappelle's Show).

Let the fun and/or misery begin

Much to the delight of what I would estimate to be about 85 to 90 percent of their fandom, Brad Childress has named Tarvaris Jackson the starting QB for Thursday's game against the hated Cheeseheads. This probably means that Brad Johnson is done -- at least, as a member of the purple and gold.

I'm well aware that playing a rookie quarterback -- especially one from a college program that doesn't face top-notch competition and/or media scrutiny (in Jackson's case, Alabama State) -- is not ideal, but it's either play this guy and see what he's made of so we can draft and make other transactions as necessary to suit his style of play or keep him sitting behind the league's oldest starting quarterback who definitely has looked like said signal caller. (If I had a dollar for each time I heard that on either Fox or CBS this year during their telecasts, I could've bought a round of drinks for all in attendance at Stars and Stripes [the home of the Northern Virginia Vikings Fan Club] this past Sunday.)

My prediction for Thursday (8 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Central [NFL Network for those outside the Twin Cities and Green Bay viewing areas; KSTP {"Channel 5"} in "the Cities"]):

Vikings 17
Packers 14

The Tara Conner Affair

I guess the reigning Miss USA gets to keep her crown after all, or, at least, so says The Donald. Seriously, who cares? Of course, in posting this rather link-laden blog entry, am I not implying "caring"? Whatever.

Other notable Miss USAs:

• Laura Harring (1985) -- Naomi Watts', er, co-star in the weird David Lynch movie (that's the most redundant statement I've made in months) Mullholland Drive;
• Shanna Moakler (1995 [runner-up, but assumed title upon titleholder becoming Miss Universe]) -- Pacific Blue to Playboy to MTV to Dancing with the Stars to fighting in clubs with Paris Hilton...oh, how the mighty have fallen;
• Ali Landry (1996) -- What has she done other than be "the Doritos girl"? Good grief! She used to be married to A.C. Slater?!
• Brandi Sherwood (1997 [ditto the Moakler Effect]) -- She is/was (?) a "Barker's Beauty"...way to parlay your pageant career into greater things there, Brandi; and
  
• Shandi Finnessey (2004) -- She's all over GSN ("Lingo," "Playmania"), so I see quite a bit of her (in between the new "I've Got A Secret" and reruns of "Match Game 73," that is)...also came in second in Miss Universe that year.
  

I watched ballet last night? What the ... ?

In my quest to watch most -- if not all -- of Robert Altman's films (this goal driven home more since his 11.20.06 passing, aged 81 years), last night, thanks to Netflix, I sat down and watched his 2003 film, The Company.

The film, which "stars" Neve Campbell, James Franco, Malcolm McDowell, and the entirety of the Joffrey Ballet Company of Chicago, has no plot to speak of and is, to my untrained, not much more than a art-house, well-photographed paean to classical dance from Campbell, who also co-produced and co-wrote (the story -- what little there is of it -- not the screenplay) the movie; as Wikipedia tells us:

She began her show career as a dancer. She trained at the National Ballet School of Canada at the age of 9, and appeared in performances of The Nutcracker and Sleeping Beauty.

Her ambition since she was about six years old was to be a classically-trained ballerina, but after numerous injuries (pulled calf muscles, arthritis in the neck and hips, surgery on her feet, fallen arches, hip syndrome, tendonitis, shin splints, bursitis, etc.) she got a check-up from the doctor and he told her that she had practically no joints left.

I'll be the first to admit I know little, if anything, about dance -- especially ballet -- but watching a movie that had no story other than to, as stated by the director in the commentary track (to which I fell asleep), show a "day" or "season in the life of the company," with no plot points and no real characters to grab hold of and learn about (i.e., the aforementioned actors are the only professional actors in the piece; the Joffrey dancers are the other "characters"), I can't say that I particularly cared for this movie.

That being said, I'm loath to pan an Altman film upon only one viewing (e.g., I can't even begin to count how many times I've watched -- with or without commentary -- Gosford Park). Also, the way in which the dance sequences are filmed is truly masterful; perhaps, it has a lot to do with the fact that it was shot in high-def video (or something like that -- I'm not very technically-minded). Finally, one has to admire Campbell's commitment to spend months training to get back into that life and to actually perform professional dances with some of the most polished performers in this country, at least.

Besides, what other movie can boast the director of M*A*S*H, Alex from A Clockwork Orange, the girl from Party of Five (i.e., the one that's not Jennifer Love Hewitt or Lacey Chabert), and James Dean (well, sort of)?

Word o' the week

Courtesy of the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary and the lovely folks at Wikipedia:

sinecure (n.)
('sI-ni-"kyur, 'si-) [From the Medieval Latin sine cura without cure (of souls)] 1 archaic : an ecclesiastical benefice without cure of souls; 2 : an office or position that requires little or no work and that usually provides an income

As used in a sentence: "They can't imagine why Lieberman would accept an appointment that is likely to last for only two years when he can simply stay in the six-year sinecure that he worked so hard to keep." ("The Lieberman Maneuver," Salon.com, December 15, 2006 [which offers a "way out" in terms of senatorial power for the GOP/GWB even if Sen. Johnson of South Dakota makes a full recovery]).

Merry Christmas, MST3K style

Got this in an e-mail and found it on the web at Satellite News (links added by yours truly following my rather lengthy absence from the blogosphere):

A Child's Christmas in Space
By Tom Servo

Tom: It's quiet in the cold of our own little orbit, starless and bible black. And as I look down on the big blue bean we would call home I think it so near, yet... oh, I wish on that star and I hope that in a little snow-covered house with a warm hearth and a loving family, maybe some kid is looking up tonight and wishing upon us. Oh, and how I hope sweet Santa will fly by tonight, because if he does I'm gonna reach right out and hug that big guy. Oh, for the sound of hooves against the steel hull of the ship. Oh, to see the rosy face of Santa in the porthole, offering me a Coke and a smile... (gradually becoming upset) ...of course, his cheeks WOULD be rosy because it's a VACUUM out there! I mean, Santa's HEART would explode! (becoming hysterical) But HE wouldn't feel it because the capillaries in his brain would pop like little firecrackers (Joel tries to calm him down) due to the blood boiling away in his face like pudding in a copper...OH THE HUMANITY!! (Now both Joel and Crow are trying to calm him down.) And his jolly old belly would start bubbling like a roasted marshmallow, eyes bulging and popping out... AND THE REINDEER--OH THE REINDEER!!!--keep floating like holiday floats and in turn exploding in a hail of blood and entrails! Prancer--BOOM! Dancer--BOOM!...
Joel: HEY!
Crow: Tom!
Joel: Tom, take it easy! Santa's gonna be okay, buddy.
Tom: You sure?
Joel: Yeah, give him a little credit, okay?
Tom: Phew, what a relief!

* * * * *

Yes, Virginia, I am a nerd.

"TSSB": The discussion rages on...

If you're interested -- and I know you are -- in a follow-up to my last post, here's a list of all of the folks who have performed "TSSB" at the Super Bowl. If only the one Charlie's Angel (not an original, mind you, but a long-standing crime-fighting cutie) and the citrus spokeswoman-cum-anti-gay loudmouth had performed together.

Also, it's mildly ironic (or is it coincidence?) to note that the Dixie Chicks sang the national anthem before Super Bowl XXXVII (even though I have a pretty good grasp on Roman numerals, I just wish they'd write "Super Bowl 37"), just 43 days before they incurred the wrath of red-state America (and their all-too-eager [and none-too-charming, IMHO {I usually avoid Internet abbreviations/slang, but for this blog entry and for you, dear readers, I'll make an exception}] champion, Toby Keith).

Am I unpatriotic?

On Frozen Blog addresses one of my pet peeves in attending sporting events in the DC area; in fact, it's my biggest pet peeve after knowing full well that 90 percent of the people around here don't care two whits about any team other than the Redskins. (Hello, people...the team is 4-9 with Joe Gibbs, Gregg Williams, Al Saunders, the ghosts of George Allen père [that's two posts today referencing that family -- hope I don't have some sort of Allen-o-philia] and Vince Lombardi, and Santa Claus on the coaching staff, so they ain't goin' nowhere this year -- or, with any luck and some blessings from the football deities, next season either.)

I'm very open about the fact that I think "The Star-Spangled Banner" (I will abbreviate hereafter as "TSSB") is a terrible national anthem. "Why?" you ask.

1. It's about a flag, not a country.
2. Speaking more to that point, can most Americans honestly say they know how the song/poem came to be? If not, it loses even more meaning.
   
3. Unless you're a fairly competent vocalist, it's hard to sing.
   
4. Given (3), if a large-enough crowd attempts to sing it -- and if you're at a sporting event, a good number of folks have probably been a bit over-served already, so to speak -- it just sounds bad.
5. Of course, if they are over-served, it fits right in, considering that "To Anacreon in Heaven," the tune to which the Key poem was set, was, more or less, a drinking song.
   

As such, I'd be very amenable to changing our national anthem to "America the Beautiful" (this is the U.S. Navy Band [with the Sea Chanters], pre-Randy or Deech) or "My Country, 'Tis of Thee" (the Coast Guard Band here) -- even with their theistic references, which I am leery of using in this nation that purports to celebrate separation of church and state -- because they speak to the history, beauty, and wonder of the United States and not to a bombed-out Free State flag.

All that being said, however, for the time being, show some respect for "TSSB" (gotta love Hendrix, who was, of course, a parachute infantryman with the 101^st Airborne) as well as for the men and women who have fought and died defending the very flag about which we sing (albeit poorly more often than not) and protecting rights like criticizing the validity of our national "song."

* * * * *

On a related note, does anyone know where one might find audio and/or video clips of James Earl Jones reciting "TTSB" before last night's (12.13.06) Wizards-Nuggets tilt at the Phone Booth? If so, let me know.

* * * * *

If you're wondering, the flag above is the 32-star model in use from 7.4.1858 to 7.3.1859 -- the 32^nd state being Minnesota, of course. (I apologize for using the Rouser as the clip as it's not the state song, but it's peppier and I actually know the words to it.)